I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We left the knife in your bed.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
