Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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