R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
