the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
be right there i have to get my cape
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
