i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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