y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Do you still have your period?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
