this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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