Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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