"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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