i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
