Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You're a waste of cheezeits
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
