It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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