Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
