so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
