I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Drake has all the answers
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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