I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
