i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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