you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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