So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize