hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Someone signed my nipple.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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