Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
