I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My bed smells like the plague
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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