Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
