I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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