So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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