My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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