I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
