It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
