FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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