Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
