Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
