a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
did you just send me my own nude
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
