I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Welp...herpes.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My ass is underappreciated
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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