**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Found your dick twin last night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
