He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
