I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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