Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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