So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize