My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
