I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize