$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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