i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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