He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
