I bet he comes in French.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
