sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
