your parents love me but you hate me
This is not my ceiling
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
