Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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