can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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