Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize