It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
