people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
