i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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