he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
