I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
