i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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