I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
