I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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