im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
