its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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