i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize