More tranny stories later!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I wear drunk well.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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