Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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