We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
