My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
