Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
