I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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