everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
