So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
