At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We are two peas in an std pod
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
