matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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