Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
