He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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