Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
