Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
