i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We are two peas in an std pod
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
