Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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