that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
